002 // Moving

The last time I moved was in 2007. It was just across town, out of my parent's house and into base housing (when DH was in the Navy). I didn't have to take everything; I could go back whenever I wanted to pick up things I missed.

But this move is different - it's more like the moves I made in college. Pack up everything you will need, ship it, mail it, wait months for the packages to arrive, unpack, organize. It wasn't easy going to college from Hawaii. I think I lived out of my suitcase for months. It seemed smarter to just buy new when you got there. This is what DH thinks would be a good idea for us.

He wants to sell everything and buy new when we get there. I am a "stuff" kind of person. I like my stuff. I enjoy the couches we had at our old house, which are now sitting in the storage under the house. I love my special peacock colored lamps that we ordered special, which are now sitting in the storage under the house. I couldn't have been happier with the entertainment center, coffee table, and end tables, that I hardly had a chance to enjoy before they too were put into the storage under the house. Why would I want sell these things? I like the things that I already have.

But then, I don't even know where to begin with moving and organizing. I'm still in the denial stage, the throwing a tantrum (who's the toddler in this family?) stage, the dragging my heels stage. Hawaii is my home; it's where I grew up. My family is here, Mom, Dad, Sister - S, BIL - J, and a new niece, E, on the way in the spring. I like living around my family, I am not sure I want to give that up. And I suppose that's the reason for my hesitation.

I understand that this is better for our whole family, that it's way too expensive in Hawaii, that we can definitely NOT afford to live on my paycheck, heck, we can't even afford to live on our own right now. I get all of that. But, does that mean that I have to be happy with it? And, I should be happy. I know that my sadness and disappointment and regret and hesitation is wearing on DH. He is unhappy here, in Hawaii. He wants to move back home. And shouldn't he have a chance to live near his family? Shouldn't his family have a chance to get to know K better?

I guess I'm just selfish. And in the beginning, I suppose it's okay to be selfish. I'll come around. I'm an adapter, I'm a go-with-the-flow girl, I'll put on my happy face, and then I truly will be happy. I have six months to pout and then get myself together. It's a done deal. We are moving to Seattle.